Les Miles is the solution to/cause of all problems

       This is just me being an asshole having fun with current wisdom. Follow me for a sec. Les Miles is playing for the MNC. There is a) no way Miles leaves the laurels behind and heads for Michigan or b) no way Michigan waits until January to name a new head coach. Miles can’t give up a kingdom of his own making and Michigan can’t loose a month of recruiting right? Enter Saban. Last year Saban, riding on a national championship from 2004, put together a top ten recruiting class in a single month. Imagine what Miles as a newly named coach could do in January having won a MNC just days ago. The LSU vacancy/Saban’s wandering eye rumors could be right back. But why would he want to leave all this?

Student body left, student body right

          Verbal comitment and a half Terrence Cody has complicated life for AL outside linebackers. Darren McFadden just told coach Tuberville he’s going pro.

Tommy to Arkansas?

      The rumors are flying, but I smell a Sexton ploy. More soon (that almost seems as if I know something… has a tune in next week vibe to it. I don’t, it shouldn’t have any air of mystery.) There is more than meets the eye here (this whole thing looks like a hoax designed by Sexton to give Tommy leverage.) McFadden agrees to forego the draft if Tuberville stays (I made that up completely.) Parenthetical assertions confirmed says some paper somewhere late at night when no one at that paper is awake or sober (this thing has legs.)

Who is the Norv Turner of college football?

         

         Finbaum stokes the Tuberville to A&M rumors further in his most recent article. I met a nice couple from Texas over the weekend. We were in a restaurant bar watching Georgia vs. Auburn, making idle conversation. I asked who they were pulling for in the game and they told me that they didn’t care. They were A&M fans and just enjoying a close game (it was the third quarter.) I mentioned that they might be watching their new coach. They had never heard of him. I have no idea if these were soidisant fans or if no one in Texas has been told what is common knowledge around here. The short of it is that they started asking me all these questions about Tuberville. I was telling them all about his record against top ten teams, his ability to put together murderous defensive units despite being the second team in the state (they loved that,) and then they asked why he isn’t well known.
          I’m not a big pro football fan. My parents are from Maryland and I was raised on the Redskins but that’s the only team I watch. After the skins game I spend Sundays watching reruns from Saturday on ESPNU. Being a Redskins’ fan I know about Marty Schottenhiemer (but I have no idea how to spell his name.) Schottenhiemer is a fantastic NFL coach. He has a very specific scheme (Big Word!) known to fans as Martyball. At the same time he has a very specific scheme (Twice!) known to detractors as Martyball. The problem with Schottenhiemer is that his teams will always be in the playoffs. Why is that a problem? They will never win. He brings his teams to the brink every year but just can’t get them to the level required to win a championship. Who does that remind you of?
          As a Redskins head coach Schottenhiemer lost his first six games then he won his next eight (thoroughly researched!) He didn’t get a second season with the Skins. They decided to take a chance on Spurrier with regretable results. Schottenhiemer went on to coach the San Diego Chargers, keep them in a state of static contention and then get replaced by Norv Turner (oops.)
         I can’t help but come to the conclusion that Tuberville is the Schottenhiemer of college football. He’s won some amazing games as the coach at Auburn but he seems unable to sustain a campaign. All he has to show for his 78-33 record at Auburn is one SEC Championship (bitch all you want about 2004 – he didn’t get it, dimestore rings aside.) 
         I still recommended Tuberville highly to the A&M couple. What else can you do? What can Auburn do? It’s an odd position to be in; do you let a coach with the third best record over the last (????) three years (????) coming into this season go (numbers 1 and 2 both have national championships) or do you keep someone who has a knack for winning games but seems incapable of winning championships stay? 
        Any attempt to break out of the current contender/second ran rut will be met with opposition. Does Auburn gamble and refuse to give a raise to the eighth highest paid coach in DIV1 football (I have yet to accept FBS.) and give someone else a chance? That risks fan retribution. It also risks a colege equivalent Norv Turner whomever that might be. Does Auburn maintain the status quo? That risks nothing. But it gains nothing as well. Then again Texas A&M may take the decision out of Auburns hands entirely. 

Happy Veteran’s Day – Observed!

        At least something went right last weekend.    And remarkably, the cognicenti have no idea what to do about it. Go Navy! Go Air Force! Army and Marines, I like you too, but for different reasons. I present my emotions, typed without the use of copy/paste, macro, or any device that would deny me the glee of each meanspirited keystroke.

           HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

         Notre Dame plays Duke next week. My wife, a Duke graduate, giggles and then wanders off muttering, probably about basketball.

Piling on?

        The current wisdom (thouroughly researched and compiled by The Heffalump’s Department of Asking People We Know About Stuff) is that JPW blew the MSU game. Cecil Hurt does his best to  deflect criticism from the kid but tune in to any sports radio show in the state and all you hear is “Paul, why didn’t he put that McElroy kid in. I mean… etc.” followed by a woe is me (woe are us?) lack of depth-McElroy must be awful if the coaches prefer what they are getting-Shula sucks. 
         I understand the problems people have with JPW but let me have a second. He is on course to break passing records at Alabama in a number of catagories. He doesn’t have the talent of a Namath, Stabler, or Starr. He’s not as strong as Croyle, he doesn’t have the vision of Zow (I said it! He was good!) Jay Barker, his name be praised, had a modicum of talent, Derrick Lassic, and half of the ‘95 pro-bowl defense (again, thoroughly researched) on his side. John Parker Wilson is no All-American, but he has more than a modicum of talent. His problem is that he has a “work in progress-part of the process” defence, a running game that is unbelievable in the secondary but hasn’t got the size to get there, and an offensive line that can’t play because they are injured or banging hookers on piles of illgotten textbook cash. So how is it that JPW is on the verge of breaking so many records?
          He passes more. Oh, and D.J. Hall.
          We haven’t had a reliable run game since Shula/Rader developed John Riggins disease (Gut 51!) and abandoned any run outside the tackles. JPW has been called on to pass more than any Alabama QB in memory (no research here, just seems that way, but I’m sure I’m right.) His numbers are inflated as are his mistakes. So when he throws the ball away sooooo many times take into account that opposing defenses know that we have to pass alot and are therefore covering us tightly. Be thankful rather than exasperated. Remember that his number is being called often and that he is tossing it rather than taking another sack or trying to force one in and risk an interception. And when after an afternoon of throwing it away to avoid a sack he decides to take a sack and not to throw it away with no time outs and 4 seconds left, throw your beer at the cat, burn something small and inexpensive, and get on with your day. I started this rant with the fact in mind that JPW is a kid and as such shouldn’t be the subject of so much scorn from a bunch of adults who at his age may have been able to throw a football through a tire swing at ten yards even with Glen Dorsey, who would have been about two at the time, unblocked and closing in on them. While writing the last paragraph I realized that such noble protect-our-youth-for-they-are-the-future sentiments would not allow me to mention Capps and his role in the JPW saga of oops. So I won’t. But you know what I would say. If you don’t I hope you have a high tolerance for alcohol. 
           The Cecil Hurt article rightly points out that there was plenty of time to make up for the disasterous interception/touchdown at the end of the first quarter. I think he dismisses the effect of momentum to easily. On that note: Alabama’s first possession, 2nd and 10 on the MSU 22, JPW fires a pass to Nikita Stover on a slant pattern. Stover is wide open on about the 7 or 8 yard line with no one between him and the end zone. The pass isn’t perfect – just a little behind him – but very catchable. He drops it. We looked good up until that point. It could have been a different game. Parker made mistakes. So did others.

My First Post: Meet The Future

       As soon as I learn how to post a fucking link certain technical difficulties are overcome… well, zoom.

P.S. Charlie Wies is a genius. (I’d love to post a link to this great slate.com article about the failings of the Wies regime but %^$*%$%^#! This is my first blog. You’ll have to Google it. “Worst Coach in the Universe” might get it. This is embarassing but it’s part of the process… tools I need to succeed… it’s not a problem because I won’t make it a problem, etc. I’ll have the whole link thing down soon. Sorry.)